First, take a look at the top 0.01% wealthiest people in America. They run the country, they set the rules, and they break the rules. Filthy.
Next, the much larger group and more well-known are those in the top 1%. First class everything. Brand name from head to toe. Disgusting.
Going further down the pipeline are those in the top 5%. We see these types of people every day and life just happens to be easier for them. Gross.
Then you have the average Joe's earning roughly around $70,000-$80,000 annually, and even lower are those who earn $50,000 or less. The majority.
What does success mean to you? At what point do you consider yourself "making it"? Well many times, how much you strive to earn depends on your debt-to-income ratio, correct? If you're struggling to survive, it just means you have to find ways to earn more money. Simple logic--don't die.
Except, too often do we hear people twist the logic around and say, "I am neither, nor do I want to be, materialistic, and therefore, I do not strive to make more than I currently do."
Similar logic to those who say, "Well, I'm smart, so obviously I'm going to put in less time and effort to complete the task at hand." Obviously, no need to achieve more than the task at hand either, right, buddy?
The result is the same: you give yourself an excuse not to be a better person than you are at your current state. Oftentimes financial success is directly correlated to materialism and/or slaving away the best years of your life. (I must admit I was guilty of this way of thinking for the first 20+ years of my life)
Eventually, and hopefully, you grow up.
Money is a necessity in this society whether you and your free spirit like it or not. Yes, you're happy now and you want to live simply and happy your whole life by achieving mediocrity in your career and spending more time and effort into your life of cheap leisure. Here's a small dose of reality: if you don't improve yourself in your current state, someone else younger and fresher than you several years down the line will take over your position and strike you out.
However, let's back up and stop this negative thinking, because how realistic would that be anyway, you idealistic, optimistic, silly souls? Instead of attaching financial success to basic survival or attaching financial success to materialism, how about attaching financial success to the overall success of yourself as a human being?
It is not, by all means, equivalent to 100% of your livelihood or all that makes you "successful." After all, what good is a financially successful person if he cannot connect and give back to society or to his dearests? At the same time, however, what good is a person if he has the kindest heart in the world but requires other people to support him financially?
Maybe you have a backup. Maybe you're a trust fund baby. That's fine and I'm sure it brings you lots of attention from those to try to get a piece of your pie. It means you're rich, and really, that's all it means if that makes you complacent.
In reality, if you're not trying to improve yourself career-wise and financially, you're lacking one aspect of life that is so crucial in society, and that is: respect from others, in addition to the more important--self-respect. How much more you've grown in your career or financially shows in a silly way, how much you've grown and gained as a person, and how ambitious you are.
Go ahead, watch TV, surf the net, and log on to Facebook all day. You're smart and financially comfortable so why change your way of life to slave away and make unnecessary earnings? Let's see how proud of yourself you will be in 10 years? Or if it takes you even longer to grow up, how about 20 years? 30 years?
It's such a dangerous world we live in today where young kids are told that 30's are the new 20's, and that we should all take our time to grow up. Even worse is that we are all brought up feeling like we are trying so hard, and yet, it's nothing compared to what our ancestors had to go through for basic survival. It's only after you grow up that you realize you wasted away many precious years and that financial success is so much more difficult starting now than it would have been had you begun 5 or 10 years ago. People make it sound like to have a dream means to become successful. In reality, prompt and proper execution of your dream means success, and most people seem to forget that.
Let's all make a pact to "make it" by the time we reach 30 years of age. And if you've already reached 30+ years, let's make a pact to "make it" within the next 5 years.
Besides being a fun, kind-hearted, smart personality, what have you got to show for yourself, your parents, and society?
Monday, April 14, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
New Year's Resolutions
Happy New Year!
On New Year's Day, after endless nights of gluttony and excess partying, we all resolve that this year will be "better." Eat healthier, workout more, read more, spend less, make more... By the following week, all resolutions are forgotten, much less, achieved.
Studies show that resolutions are easier kept when written out and constantly visualized so that one is accountable to herself for the promises she makes to her own self.
Come on: if you can't even keep the promises you make to yourself, how do you show you can keep a promise to anyone else?
Ultimately, we make New Year's Resolutions to either 1) become a better person, 2) achieve more in the game of life, or 3) both become a better person and achieve more in life. It's all the same. So to all those who make nearly unattainable New Year's Resolutions, here's something that might help:
On a personal note, around Thanksgiving of 2013, I had a revelation. So dramatic, right? Something about my career and my personal life needed a change. In regards to my career, there had not been much movement up. The only thing I had built myself into looking forward to was the little bit of money trickling down from the industry, to the company, and then, finally, to me. For two years already, I found myself saying, "Wow, I'm in a rut and I don't know what to do."
Timing is everything. By Thanksgiving, the HR director from a much larger company asked me in for an interview and offered me a position. If the company size, structure, income and future opportunities are better than the previous, why not? I decided to take on this opportunity for the New Year, but that wasn't enough. There was still something I was doing wrong in terms of my career, and a new job did not change this fact.
In regards to my personal life, it must have been the sappy moods that Thanksgiving season typically brings on, but I suddenly realized that I'd been an uncaring and selfish friend, daughter, sister, dog mom, colleague, etc. Yes, at age 19 I had vowed to make my twenties my own: it was the selfish decade of one's life and I was determined to make it so. I've been doing exactly that; only, before completing this decade, I've come to the realization that I don't want to proceed this way anymore. Not everyone in your life will stay in your life, so why would you not want to give the most happy, loving, generous side of yourself to them?
So here comes the New Year's Resolutions part.
My New Year's Resolutions for the past few years were based off of limiting myself from negative actions, and increasing positive actions. Yes, I had achieved most of my goals, but overall, I felt like I had not improved myself as much as I'd like. This year will be different--I won't focus on limiting myself as much as striving to push my inner fire.
On New Year's Day, after endless nights of gluttony and excess partying, we all resolve that this year will be "better." Eat healthier, workout more, read more, spend less, make more... By the following week, all resolutions are forgotten, much less, achieved.
Studies show that resolutions are easier kept when written out and constantly visualized so that one is accountable to herself for the promises she makes to her own self.
Come on: if you can't even keep the promises you make to yourself, how do you show you can keep a promise to anyone else?
Ultimately, we make New Year's Resolutions to either 1) become a better person, 2) achieve more in the game of life, or 3) both become a better person and achieve more in life. It's all the same. So to all those who make nearly unattainable New Year's Resolutions, here's something that might help:
On a personal note, around Thanksgiving of 2013, I had a revelation. So dramatic, right? Something about my career and my personal life needed a change. In regards to my career, there had not been much movement up. The only thing I had built myself into looking forward to was the little bit of money trickling down from the industry, to the company, and then, finally, to me. For two years already, I found myself saying, "Wow, I'm in a rut and I don't know what to do."
Timing is everything. By Thanksgiving, the HR director from a much larger company asked me in for an interview and offered me a position. If the company size, structure, income and future opportunities are better than the previous, why not? I decided to take on this opportunity for the New Year, but that wasn't enough. There was still something I was doing wrong in terms of my career, and a new job did not change this fact.
In regards to my personal life, it must have been the sappy moods that Thanksgiving season typically brings on, but I suddenly realized that I'd been an uncaring and selfish friend, daughter, sister, dog mom, colleague, etc. Yes, at age 19 I had vowed to make my twenties my own: it was the selfish decade of one's life and I was determined to make it so. I've been doing exactly that; only, before completing this decade, I've come to the realization that I don't want to proceed this way anymore. Not everyone in your life will stay in your life, so why would you not want to give the most happy, loving, generous side of yourself to them?
So here comes the New Year's Resolutions part.
My New Year's Resolutions for the past few years were based off of limiting myself from negative actions, and increasing positive actions. Yes, I had achieved most of my goals, but overall, I felt like I had not improved myself as much as I'd like. This year will be different--I won't focus on limiting myself as much as striving to push my inner fire.
- GET MY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT. How many times in my life have I focused on the wrong thing and realized only afterward that I completely neglected a person or situation that I should not have? Straightening your priorities will (hopefully) smooth out your life.
- IF I WANT SOMETHING, MAKE IT HAPPEN. NO EXCUSES. Similar to the "Always Be Closing" line in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross, the idea is that if you desire something enough, you will put the talent and hard work sufficient in obtaining it. Not only that, but suddenly the other fun aspects of life will seem trivial compared to obtaining your goal. With a strong enough desire for something, you will automatically participate less in unproductive events and more in "getting it." And if you don't get it, you just don't want it enough. In which case, don't even mention it anymore.
- KEEP MY DESIRES CONSISTENT. For someone who is so inconsistent in every aspect of her life, this is my biggest challenge. So for the New Year, once again: NO EXCUSES. If my desires aren't kept consistent, I don't want it enough. In which case, return to Resolution #2: Don't mention it anymore.
If I'm able to achieve these goals, I'll have greatly improved my relationships with friends and family, have a beach body by Summer time, and experience a large income jump by year's end. GET IT.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Oh, you're BAD~
One who is capable of doing evil and chooses not to, triumphs one who is incapable, for the one incapable has not realized if he/she will choose to do it or not. (There is almost always a desire for the unknown...) Therefore, leading to the idea that one should never judge another for his or her past, since one realizes he/she is capable only after a faulty past action or two.
To be capable, is to be competent. To choose not to, is to be virtuous. To be competent and virtuous, is the ideal. Sadly, we do not live in an idealistic world. How difficult it is for us to surround ourselves with the right people.
To be capable, is to be competent. To choose not to, is to be virtuous. To be competent and virtuous, is the ideal. Sadly, we do not live in an idealistic world. How difficult it is for us to surround ourselves with the right people.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Looking Glass Self
Every so often, you need to step away from yourself to reflect on your life and decisions you've made. Perhaps you are not satisfied with the relationships in your life (i.e. your friendships, your bonds with your family, or even simple interactions with new acquaintances), and cannot understand why.
In 1902, Sociologist Charles Horton Cooley presented the concept of the "Looking-Glass Self", in which our self-schema is produced in our social relationships. We get an image of ourselves in each situation based on others' reactions, but at the same time, we bring to the situation a more stable and enduring conception of ourselves as a certain type of person. People try to reaffirm the type of person they are, every time they interact with others.
You can easily explain to your close friends and family when you "aren't acting like yourself" on a rainy day and still have them accept you for the "real you" that you've always presented previously. For example, a shy, mild-mannered person who suddenly explodes in an emotional outbreak can tell their receiver, "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, I'm usually not this emotional," and the receiver generally genuinely believes that an external factor may have caused this emotional outbreak--not caused by the person himself/herself.
If you are consistently having problems of social interaction with multiple people in your life, it's time to look within yourself. What are you doing wrong? What portrait of yourself are you trying to paint? Is it consistent with how others see you? What went wrong, from the idea to your execution to others' reactions?
However, initial impressions should be handled with much more caution. Once someone has the wrong idea of who you are, it takes much more time and patience to reaffirm the "real" you. If you aren't getting the respect you feel you deserve, it might be your own fault. It's disappointing when someone new misinterprets you based on a couple poor judgments you've made. The good thing is we are so densely populated that it is easy to start all over again to give a fresh first impression to someone new--as long as you realize how you were wrong and improve the way you present yourself to others.
Do you know who I am?
You can easily explain to your close friends and family when you "aren't acting like yourself" on a rainy day and still have them accept you for the "real you" that you've always presented previously. For example, a shy, mild-mannered person who suddenly explodes in an emotional outbreak can tell their receiver, "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, I'm usually not this emotional," and the receiver generally genuinely believes that an external factor may have caused this emotional outbreak--not caused by the person himself/herself.
If you are consistently having problems of social interaction with multiple people in your life, it's time to look within yourself. What are you doing wrong? What portrait of yourself are you trying to paint? Is it consistent with how others see you? What went wrong, from the idea to your execution to others' reactions?
However, initial impressions should be handled with much more caution. Once someone has the wrong idea of who you are, it takes much more time and patience to reaffirm the "real" you. If you aren't getting the respect you feel you deserve, it might be your own fault. It's disappointing when someone new misinterprets you based on a couple poor judgments you've made. The good thing is we are so densely populated that it is easy to start all over again to give a fresh first impression to someone new--as long as you realize how you were wrong and improve the way you present yourself to others.
Do you know who I am?
Monday, February 25, 2013
Age is Coming...
If you've lived life for a good amount of time, you may empathize with me the angst of old age. The day you discover a new wrinkle on your face that was not there yesterday. The gradual growing fear of the edges of your eyes drooping lower. Seeing current pictures of your peers and remembering they never looked so shabby before and that it must be due to old age; then wondering if other people see you the same way. (They probably do).
At a certain point in life, most people take this angst and turn it into a misguided realization that they need to find a life partner before it's too late. If you're single, it's about damn time you joined Match.com. Don't even consider free dating services like Skout, Plenty of Fish, or OKCupid anymore. It's time to get serious in finding a mate. If you're in a relationship, you begin to wonder if it's time to take the next step. Maybe your expectation towards your partner has increased a bit. ("Marry me already!") Another day longer, means another wrinkle on your face, means one step further from being the perfectly beautiful bride.
It seems this angst of old age has been channeled into the wrong direction. You fear age is getting to you, but why does it necessarily have to be in terms of finding a life partner? That will come in due time and is out of your control anyway.
Could it be fear, instead, that Younger You hadn't earned as much money as your youthful potential could have possibly earned? Only for Older You to realize that you will only slowly continue to lose your energy with growing age? Better make that dough now to make up for your slack in previous years and for your slack in the elderly years!
Or perhaps it's a fear of not having discovered everything in this world that your heart has heard of and realized a new-found desire to see for yourself. Party in Miami! Walk through the Catacombs in France! Snorkel by the Great Barrier Reef! Hike Mt. Everest! Vegas, anyone? Now is the time for extreme traveling. Once you have a family with kids, the level of freedom in traveling is much more limited. Once age gets to your bones and joints, forget it; it will be more pain than enjoyment.
Lastly, you might come to a realization that you've been tied down to something. Is your job your career? Keep waiting, and it will be--whether you like it or not. Whether you feel tied down to your career, or your love life, or your financial status, you are the only one to change it before growing age takes over.
Growing old does not necessarily mean it is time to be frantic about finding that lifelong partner. Change what you are able to change: you are the only one who's able to earn more money for yourself, to workout and get the best body of your life, to go places you've never thought you were able to go, etc. Yes, that wrinkle has made your face its new home and it's not ever going away naturally. This should be that wake up call you've needed to make some positive improvements in your life. So sad, but so crucial.
At a certain point in life, most people take this angst and turn it into a misguided realization that they need to find a life partner before it's too late. If you're single, it's about damn time you joined Match.com. Don't even consider free dating services like Skout, Plenty of Fish, or OKCupid anymore. It's time to get serious in finding a mate. If you're in a relationship, you begin to wonder if it's time to take the next step. Maybe your expectation towards your partner has increased a bit. ("Marry me already!") Another day longer, means another wrinkle on your face, means one step further from being the perfectly beautiful bride.
It seems this angst of old age has been channeled into the wrong direction. You fear age is getting to you, but why does it necessarily have to be in terms of finding a life partner? That will come in due time and is out of your control anyway.
Could it be fear, instead, that Younger You hadn't earned as much money as your youthful potential could have possibly earned? Only for Older You to realize that you will only slowly continue to lose your energy with growing age? Better make that dough now to make up for your slack in previous years and for your slack in the elderly years!
Or perhaps it's a fear of not having discovered everything in this world that your heart has heard of and realized a new-found desire to see for yourself. Party in Miami! Walk through the Catacombs in France! Snorkel by the Great Barrier Reef! Hike Mt. Everest! Vegas, anyone? Now is the time for extreme traveling. Once you have a family with kids, the level of freedom in traveling is much more limited. Once age gets to your bones and joints, forget it; it will be more pain than enjoyment.
Lastly, you might come to a realization that you've been tied down to something. Is your job your career? Keep waiting, and it will be--whether you like it or not. Whether you feel tied down to your career, or your love life, or your financial status, you are the only one to change it before growing age takes over.
Growing old does not necessarily mean it is time to be frantic about finding that lifelong partner. Change what you are able to change: you are the only one who's able to earn more money for yourself, to workout and get the best body of your life, to go places you've never thought you were able to go, etc. Yes, that wrinkle has made your face its new home and it's not ever going away naturally. This should be that wake up call you've needed to make some positive improvements in your life. So sad, but so crucial.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Happiness and Your Relationships
The solution to "happiness" has been a puzzle ever since the beginning of mankind. There is no sure-win formula. However, there are certain things you can start with, for example, by noticing the people around you. This is not only for your romantic relationships but, more importantly, your friendships.
There are three types of friendships that come in the form of "precious," "aloof," and "dangerous." Let's end the discussion on a positive note and start with the most negative friendship.
THE DANGEROUS FRIEND
What makes someone a "dangerous friend," yet still a "friend"? Generally, you would not want to be around this type of person. However, (most commonly) they may be a childhood friend. You've grown up with them all your life and you just happened to play together as young children. As you grow older and meet more people, you begin to realize that you really aren't happy with your childhood friend. As a matter of fact, you begin to notice minute flaws with the person's character. Maybe he or she tries to sabotage your reputation in front of others to make herself look better. Maybe she secretly flirts with the guy she knows you not only like, but already have a flirty relationship with. Anything anyone does to meddle with your life should not be in your life. If you keep this dangerous friend around, you will only have to count the seconds until she strikes again. Ultimately, he or she will push you out to die in order to live a more comfortable life.
THE ALOOF FRIEND
You might have met him or her through a friend or through a party. To make them more than just an acquaintance, she has probably come out to a group event more than several times and may even have hung out with you one-on-one a few times. As you learn more about this person, you realize there's not much to learn. She is unwilling to open up her feelings and her personal world to you. At the same time, the moment you are under stress with your problems and want to share with her, you realize she just does not care. Then you finally understand she is only your friend when it is convenient for her. She is not a bad person, but, she has no heart to become your true friend.
THE PRECIOUS FRIEND
This is the one. This is the soulmate of the friendship world. Whether you met him or her in your younger years or you met her yesterday, you feel the beauty of your friendship immediately. She calls or texts you on a regular basis and you both share feelings and thoughts. You can both analyze and reason through any given situation and have it not escalate to the point of breakup. She knows when you are going through a rough time and will call you to hang out and make sure you are still OK. She is angry at you when you make stupid decisions that harm yourself. She shares her whole world with you and expects you to do the same. Whether you reciprocate the enthusiasm of this friendship, you must know that the precious friend is extremely rare and hard to find. No matter what, hold on tight to them!
Your happiness is in direct correlation to the people around you. Take a second to step back and analyze your friends. One must learn to let go of the ones who hurt them and surround herself with only the positive characters. Only then, can you start to enjoy true happiness.
Although you surround yourself with the right people, it does not ensure your happiness... But it is the step in the right direction.
There are three types of friendships that come in the form of "precious," "aloof," and "dangerous." Let's end the discussion on a positive note and start with the most negative friendship.
THE DANGEROUS FRIEND
What makes someone a "dangerous friend," yet still a "friend"? Generally, you would not want to be around this type of person. However, (most commonly) they may be a childhood friend. You've grown up with them all your life and you just happened to play together as young children. As you grow older and meet more people, you begin to realize that you really aren't happy with your childhood friend. As a matter of fact, you begin to notice minute flaws with the person's character. Maybe he or she tries to sabotage your reputation in front of others to make herself look better. Maybe she secretly flirts with the guy she knows you not only like, but already have a flirty relationship with. Anything anyone does to meddle with your life should not be in your life. If you keep this dangerous friend around, you will only have to count the seconds until she strikes again. Ultimately, he or she will push you out to die in order to live a more comfortable life.
THE ALOOF FRIEND
You might have met him or her through a friend or through a party. To make them more than just an acquaintance, she has probably come out to a group event more than several times and may even have hung out with you one-on-one a few times. As you learn more about this person, you realize there's not much to learn. She is unwilling to open up her feelings and her personal world to you. At the same time, the moment you are under stress with your problems and want to share with her, you realize she just does not care. Then you finally understand she is only your friend when it is convenient for her. She is not a bad person, but, she has no heart to become your true friend.
THE PRECIOUS FRIEND
This is the one. This is the soulmate of the friendship world. Whether you met him or her in your younger years or you met her yesterday, you feel the beauty of your friendship immediately. She calls or texts you on a regular basis and you both share feelings and thoughts. You can both analyze and reason through any given situation and have it not escalate to the point of breakup. She knows when you are going through a rough time and will call you to hang out and make sure you are still OK. She is angry at you when you make stupid decisions that harm yourself. She shares her whole world with you and expects you to do the same. Whether you reciprocate the enthusiasm of this friendship, you must know that the precious friend is extremely rare and hard to find. No matter what, hold on tight to them!
Your happiness is in direct correlation to the people around you. Take a second to step back and analyze your friends. One must learn to let go of the ones who hurt them and surround herself with only the positive characters. Only then, can you start to enjoy true happiness.
Although you surround yourself with the right people, it does not ensure your happiness... But it is the step in the right direction.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Money, Money, Money, Makes the World Go 'Round
"'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life,
Trying to make ends meet,
You're a slave to money, then you die..."
You're a slave to money, then you die..."
~ The Verve
To those who are religious, we pray to God (or to gods, depending on your background; to each his own). We praise Him, and ask Him to bring Peace, Love, and Happiness to our lives and to the lives around us. We put Him on a pedestal and acknowledge Him as a power much greater than ourselves.
To the atheists, we believe in and need nobody but ourselves. Who decides our fates but you and me?--Especially in the United States where the American Dream is so easily achievable.
It seems the general public often searches for someone or something to believe in or to look up to, yet we tend to overlook what should be so obvious to us: We prepare our children to become slaves to money, just as we had been prepared when we were young. This vicious cycle engulfs all of our lives. Money holds our fate; without it's "blessing," we would not survive in our present society, and with it, we could rule the world. Admit it: Money owns us.
Yes, we work hopelessly for money. Your parents raise you in hopes that you not only become good citizens of society, but also that you gain a higher education so that you may earn more money than they had. With money, comes security and happiness. Get a successful job, buy a house, buy a car, raise a family, gain material pleasures, and have your children repeat history. Side advantages like prestige and power of course come along with the majority of successful jobs. This is what is expected of us, and whether you are aware of it or not, that is what you will eventually work towards.
Even as we rebel against society's expectations of striving to be the richest, most prestigious citizens, we are still at the mercy of Money. You want to be free? There's a price that comes with that. You want to travel the world? You want to disappear from the world? You want to SAVE the world? YES, there's a price that comes with all of that.
And in the end, what is money anyway? Realistically, money is the utmost power in society, and we are its bitch.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The Easy Life
Is it a curse or a blessing to find out things in life come easily to you?
There are some people who work to the bone for a measly bread and crumbs meal. Maybe they work half their lives to finally buy a brand new car—the first new car they’ve ever owned, and perhaps the only new car they will ever own. And buying their own house? Let’s not even get started with that. We are not talking just about those in poverty. We are talking about those who are limited in talent, intelligence, and especially, luck. You may be from a fairly well off background, given equal opportunities, work twice as hard as your friendly neighbor, but still it seems they get so much more in return. It boggles your mind! How did they do it?!
Some people have been guided all their lives by luck. Some people were born with a natural talent. Some people are just so smart that they’ve thought up every step of the solution before you even begin to recognize the problem. And what of it? There’s nothing you can do but accept the fact that your life was not born a little more fortunate than the average Joe.
Now, if you believe you were one of those born to the elite group of lucky, talented, intelligent few, I pose a question to you: Do you remember that one point in life where you realized the fact? How did that sway you in your decision-making?
When you come to the realization that things in life come fairly easy to you, (or at least more so than to the booger sitting next to you) there are two resulting consequences: 1) You realize that the universe has the gem of all opportunities never given to others, awaiting you to just pluck the rewards, what with some hard work and determination; 2) You realize that the universe works in your favor even if you don’t put in much effort, therefore resulting in a lesser work ethic and/or a stress-free life. (PARTAYYYYY!)
So, once again, is it a blessing or a curse the moment you realize that things in life come easily to you? Yes, it’s easy to say, “I’m already working hard. If I found out things in life come easily to me and I can achieve much more as long as I continue this strong work ethic, of course I would continue to work hard—possibly work 10 times harder!” (Chances are, if you are thinking this right now, you probably have not realized you are one of the lucky ones, and you are probably not one of the elite few. Sorry.) However, that is rarely the case as we all weaken to temptation and fall complacent with what we already have.
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